Can I forgive?

I try to shy away from writing about forgiveness, but it is really important now than ever. I have found out that unforgiveness is deadlier and destroys relationships faster than Zika, Ebola or HIV.


Over the years, I have been one to hold grudges. I mean long grudges without thought for the persons age, status or level. It got so bad that I had to be cautioned by the spirit of God. Then, I started praying. I must confess it got really better that for a moment I thought I was over it.

Until something happened.

A trusted friend hurt me so bad that I forgot what I knew to be true in the day during those dark hours. The pain cut really deep. I felt not just humiliated but heart broken. I was constantly angry and bitter. I decided that his deed  was unforgiveable. I refused his calls and if I managed to talk to him, my words dripped with sarcasm and hatred

I must confess that for a while, it felt really good. “I’ll teach him next time to be more careful”; “He now knows the taste of pain and humiliation”. Though I tried to fight it I ended up getting angry with myself, anyone who tried to talk me out of it and regrettably at God.


I noticed I was constantly unhappy and sad. So I was forced to turn fully to God for help. I begged him to teach me how to forgive for I know that God will not blink an eyelid before forgiving me when I ask and I‘m expected to do same.

Then God started to operate on my heart with his word. Chief amongst them is Matt: 18: 21, 22. God” How many times will a friend offend you and you forgive, 7 times?  Nope 70 times 7!

This may seem unachievable but that is God’s Standard and it is for our own good. It is aimed at helping you to handle anger- trust me, you will get over it.

Just like me, you might have been hurt, betrayed and humiliated by people you love or even enemies. You might have sworn silently to deal with them in your own time. But, the Lord is calling on YOU today to please put your sword back into its sheath. Remember, revenge is for the Lord.  Trust me, He is the best avenger.

Am not telling you that it will be easy, But God’s Grace is sufficient for us all. The Longer you hold unto that grudge, precious saints, the deeper the grave you are digging for yourself.

The effects of unforgiveness include:

• Constant Headache and Sickness
• Facial Wrinkles- from constant squeezing of the face.
• Unending Weakness/ Tiredness
• Lack of interest in most things you love and cherish.
• Worst of all, Lack of interest in things of God. Most of your prayers will be hindered because God has said in his word, If you bring an  offering before me and remember that you have a grudge with a brother, leave the offering at the altar and go and make up with him or her

The list sure continues. Did you notice that all the above listed affects you directly. The person in question might have made peace with God and moved on or worst still, might not even remember what he/she did wrong.

And you are here killing yourself.

With my friend, on a scale of 1 – 10, I am at the 7th level. I chose to ignore and keep him at an arm’s length. Not enemies but not close friend. I have more peace, stability and Grace. I don’t know if it is the best approach but I am still in the process.

Try and Let go of that pain. It doesn’t help; it only reduces your life span and you sure don’t need that. Your pain, grudge or anger is most definitely not the end of the world, so why not let it go? Let’s not be like the man who wanted to kill his fellow peasant for owing him a meager sum of money when the king practically forgave and handed him back his life.

I believe these bible quotations can help.
Ephesians 4: 32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 - Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Ephesians 4: 31 - Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Luke 6: 37 - “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;
Mark 11: 25 - And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Ephesians 4:26-27 - Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
1 Peter 3:9 - Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
Luke 6: 27 -  “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you
Proverbs 15: 18 - A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
1John 1:9  - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
 Matthew 5: 44 - But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
 Proverbs 31:26 - She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue and others.
With constant prayers, I know God’s Grace will uphold us in all things, Amen!

Source: Hadassah
Pics: Google